The Surprising Secrets of a Happy Marriage by Shaunti Feldhahn*

I first heard Mrs. Feldhahn share her research findings about happy marriages on Focus on the Family, and was impressed with how articulate, intelligent, and energetic she was.  These same traits are manifested in her book where she reveals her findings about happy marriages after conducting research with over two thousand men and women.  These married couples included a wide variety of race, cultural and religious backgrounds.
The surprising secrets are:

• know a few small actions make a big difference
• believe the best-believe your spouse cares for you
• go to bed mad-wait to resolve issues at the best time
• keep score-keep track of how your spouse is blessing you, how hard they are working etc. and   try to give back to them
• boss their feelings around
• factual fantasies-expect and are grateful for ways their spouse can meet needs
• use sign language-a special signal for reconciliation 
• hang out
• don't tell it like it is-be kind with words
• look higher-depend on God
• get in over their heads-divorce is not an option
• think they hit the jackpot-give credit to spouse for a great marriage

She advises not to implement all of these strategies at once, but to pick one to work on and go from that point.
*Highly recommend.
-Borrowed via Interlibrary Loan (my local county does not own it).